There is a significant draw in our society to rely upon “the experts” to the neglect of any personal responsibility. “Those people know better than me, so I will believe or do whatever they tell me.” This approach is fool-hearted if only because you can always find an expert who disagrees with another expert. That alone should tell you that at least some amount of evaluation is required from you. But, even more simply, it is unwise to abrogate the responsibility that God has given you. There are times when you may wisely hand responsibility over to a faithful steward (Matt 25:14-30; Luke 16:1-9). But, if God has said that your job as a man is to do X, why would you then neglect that task entirely by giving it to another unchecked? I suspect that the real answer to this question is often convenience. But usually, the answer is dressed up in some rationalistic or pietistic way. What am I specifically thinking about? I am thinking about the duty we have as parents to raise up our children in the faith.

            In the Christian circles I have been in my whole life, there are always Sunday schools, Wednesday night kids and youth programs, and “children’s church.” I know people who have left a church just because they “did not have enough for my kid to do,” or “my child had to sit with me during the church service.” These parents come off as sincere and well-meaning. They want a place where their kids can feel a sense of belonging and they want their kids to hear the gospel explained in an age-appropriate way. I once listened to an older Christian man say that he and his wife had left churches that did not have teaching and programs for their boys. They ended up at one particular church because of its teaching and programs for children. Although his boys are not believers today, he takes comfort in the fact that his boys heard the gospel when they were in Sunday school and “children’s church.” So why do I tell this story? I tell it because I think many Christian parents have the same mentality as this older man. They view the kids programs of their church as the way their kids will hear about Jesus and what it looks like to follow him. But God did not intend for a child to be raised in the ways of righteousness and justice just when he was in a church building once or twice a week. No, he intends that parents teach and live out his word right in front of the children day in and day out. Parents completely hand over their responsibility (which God has given them) to the experts, the pastors and teachers, when they view the children’s programs at church as the primary source of spiritual training for their children rather than as an important secondary source.

            We can see the responsibility that parents have in this regard in both the Old Testament and the New Testament. I was reading Genesis 18 the morning of writing this. Genesis 18 tells of the Lord’s appearance to Abraham and his discussion about the coming destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Right before God tells Abraham about this coming judgment, he recounts his special relationship with Abraham (Gen 18:19). Abraham is uniquely known by God, that is, he was chosen by God (Gen 18:19; Neh 9:7; Amo 3:2). In him, all the nations would be blessed because he would be the father of a people from which the Messiah would come (Gen 18:18; Gal 3:8-9). That promise is the initial purpose of God electing Abraham, but there is a fuller purpose: God wanted to create a people who would walk with him and were righteous (Gen 18:19; see Gen 3:8-9; 5:24; 6:9; 17:1). God’s promise to Abraham of land, descendant(s), and blessing are for a much larger purpose; it is ultimately to create a people for his own possession (see Ex 19:5-6; 1 Pet 2:9-10). So too with us; God has not promised us salvation as an end unto itself, but he has saved us for membership in his kingdom, to be with him (Tit 2:11-14). Because of the kingdom-building nature of God’s purposes, he says that Abraham is to “command his children…that they keep the way of the LORD…” (Gen 18:19). Abraham is tasked with a responsibility in this work of God; he must be a teacher of God’s ways to those who will come behind him. Abraham’s task is so important that the LORD speaks as if all of the promises made to Abraham rest upon him being a teacher of righteousness to those in his house (Gen 18:19).

            But Abraham is not alone in this command to teach one’s children; Moses commands Israel time after time to teach their children about the wondrous things God has done and all that he has commanded (Deut 4:9-10; 6:6-7; 11:19-21; 32:46). Abraham’s task was greater than his day, he was to be a father in God’s new kingdom work, a teacher of righteousness and justice (Gen 18:19; Rom 4:16-18; Gal 3:7). God’s kingdom is eternal, so it only makes sense, then, that after Abraham’s death, the task would be passed on and others would need to teach their children to know the Lord. This is why Moses repeats himself and commands the generation going into the Promised Land to teach their children all that God has said. Moses clearly does not have in mind that Israel should send their children to schools or a ridged program for this training. Moses’ instruction is much simpler, yet much more involved, than any weekly class or program could even be. Moses envisions teaching that happens more naturally, as if it is just a normal part of life. When you sit in the house, when you walk down the path, when you go to bed at the end of the day, and when you get up in the morning these are the times to teach one’s children (Deut 6:7; 11:19). As beneficial as a children’s Sunday school time can be, it is nothing compared to having a parent who, with every breath and in every hour, speaks God’s word.

            This vision of theological and ethical education did not end with Abraham, and it did not end with Israel, either – it has come to us, the people of God in Christ. We have been made heirs of God’s eternal kingdom in Jesus, so naturally the task has been handed to us (Rom 8:16-17; Jam 2:5). Much like Abraham, we have been chosen by God,  but not to become the patriarch of a great nation – rather for salvation (Eph 1:3-14). And much like ancient Israel, we are descendants of Abraham; maybe not by blood, but by faith we are his sons (Gal 3:6-9). Just like Abraham and Israel after him, we have been commanded to raise our children in the ways of the Lord (Eph 6:4). Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” It is our job. And when this responsibility was explained in Deuteronomy it was pictured as a task that would happen naturally, as a part of everyday life (Deut 4:9-10; 6:6-7; 11:19-21; 32:46). It should be normal to talk to your kids about the things of God: what he has done in history, what he has done in your life, what he has promised in his holy word, what he commands of us his creatures, and what he will do when Christ returns.

            We must not view the children’s or youth programs in our church as the way our children are taught the discipline and instruction of the Lord. These are important supplemental tools, but the job is ours. So, when we drop our children off in a Sunday school class on Sunday morning or drive them to youth group on Wednesday night, we must remember we do that from a place of authority. God has given us the task of teaching our kids. Using good resources can be wonderful, but we must remember that the real training begins again in the car ride home after the Wednesday night program has ended.